My lover said to me, “Rise up, my darling! Come away with me, my fair one!" Song of Solomon 2:10 (NLT)
My husband has never been a big fan of Valentine's Day.
In fact, you could say he has spent many years of our marriage actively protesting what many view as the "lover's holiday",
You see, my husband is of the opinion that real love is meant to be expressed every day. It's in the things he says to me ("I love you" is an oft repeated phrase in our house which has never lost it's value).
It's in the way he fixes my website when I can't figure out why a link won't work or takes the time to open up the vacuum cleaner to fetch a screw I picked up on accident. It's in the way he always knows when something is bothering me, makes me laugh as much as possible, or watches a dramatic film like The King's Speech when he'd rather be watching an action movie such asThe Expendables.
Not to say my husband doesn't surprise me every so often on Valentine's Day. Like the year he hired a barbershop quartet to bring me flowers, candy, and serenade me at work. Like the other day when he declared, "I've made dinner reservations for February 14th."
When I stop to think about it, I realize unwrapping love for my husband and I is an ongoing process. A shared life filled with the familiar cadence of a friend, partner, and lover. I've learned there is as much romance within the day to day —a hug, a kiss, shared smiles, or sardonic humor— as the candlelight dinners of the "ultimate date night".
Although, I still think hearts and flowers has it's place in the world. Every now and then.
Just sayin.
Til Death Do Us Part
Pat was responding to a question about a man who's wife has succumbed to Alzheimer's.
Unfortunately, part of his answer included the suggestion that it would be acceptable for the man to divorce his wife (while still providing adequate care) so he could move on with his life.
There is no way to for a Christian to justify divorcing a spouse with any kind of catastrophic or wasting disease. Biblically speaking—there are two reasons given where divorce is actually permitted in scripture.
Infidelity is the big one.
Abandonment by an unbelieving spouse is the second.
(When it comes to abusive relationships, God does not condone the mistreatment of wives by their husbands. Period. ANY abused partner should leave the situation and seek help.)
There is no excuse for divorcing a spouse who has become incapacitated.
My husband was the one to point out this current brouhaha over Pat Robertson's statements because he was utterly appalled at the idea. Basically, by condoning such selfish behavior, Christians are handed carte blanche reasoning when a relationship becomes difficult, uncomfortable, unpleasant, or emotionally painful.
Suck it up, boys and girls.
God intended marriage to be a life-time covenant. This is a deep commitment which should not be taken lightly.
God forbid a situation occur where my husband was struck down by cancer, Alzheimer's–whatever. The thought that I'd abandon him to seek a more comfortable life with another partner is unthinkable, un-biblical, and doesn't even register in my thought process.
My grandmother deteriorated with what was most likely Alzheimer's long before they had a name for the condition. She didn't recognize my grandfather. She wandered away from home. She would awaken from dreams afraid because she didn't realize she was home. My grandfather cared for her with love and tenderness until her death.
Caring for a spouse who is ill or incapacitated is hard. There is no question or denying that fact. Divorcing a spouse in such a condition is unconscionable. Period. And the problem with Pat Robertson's statement is people will take it as tacit permission to do so without guilt.
Doing such a thing is simply wrong.