As I was scoping out the internet this morning for interesting things to read, I popped over to one of my favorite marriage/relationship bloggers (Sheila Wray Gregoire) to see what nugget she had to offer. While the article posted was not written by Sheila (today), this guest post is well worth the read.
The author (Lindsey Bell) is sharing five things which can ruin a marriage. And while she admits to having not been married as long as some other writers on the subject, she does speak from her own experience of lessons gleaned. Speaking as one who has been married to the same man for 25 years this December (and survived a five year separation), Lindsey is on point.
1-Your spouse cannot be your everything (don’t hinge your complete happiness on one person. It’s not fair or possible).
2- Let your marriage belong to you and your spouse, not someone else’s ideal.
3-Children are a blessing from God but they cannot run your life (they do grow up eventually).
4-Spending time (alone) with your spouse must be a priority (healthy relationships require maintenance).
5-Stop hanging around with someone who could become a “replacement” if your spouse annoys or angers you. (Infidelity begins with emotional attachments to others).
Here’s the thing I’ve learned.
Marriage takes work. You never want to get complacent in your relationship. Be honest with your spouse if there is an issue so little things don’t become big ones. Understand you and your spouse will change over the years (hopefully growing in spiritual maturity together), so do not hang onto the past. Remember the bad times will come but won’t last forever. Hang tough together. If you both put the others needs before your own, there is a middle ground to be discovered.