Testimony

I was raised in a traditional Christian home and was six years old when I first learned Jesus wanted to save me from my sins and be my friend. I said yes to his offer and asked him into my life.

However, there were other influences in my life. By the time I was nine years old I wanted to be a fortune teller when I grew up. I have no idea how I learned about palm or card reading, but I found it fascinating. My friends and I would pretend to be psychic. We would have “séances” at our sleepovers and tell ghost stories. Try seeing the face of “Bloody Mary” in the mirror, or levitate each other with our fingertips.

As a teenager I learned the Bible warned against these practices. I didn't want to offend God, so I stopped participating in occult games and seeking psychic experiences. I devoted myself to God, went to college, where I met and eventually married a Christian man.

We both loved God and were very active in church. However, some how over the years I lost something in my relationship with Christ. I became very legalistic. Forgetting the mercy and grace of my Savior. Replacing a relationship with God for strict religion.

Over time as I tried to become godly through my own efforts, I became angry, depressed. This began affecting all of my relationships but most especially the one with my husband. I couldn’t live up to the demands of religiosity, and neither could he. Eventually I stopped reading the Bible, gave up on prayer. Going to church became a rote exercise for both of us.

I came to the conclusion that Christianity wasn’t working for me. I believed I could never be "good enough" to meet the standards of perfection I believed were necessary to please God. So after twenty-nine years in the church…I left.

Being a person of faith, however, I knew I couldn’t live in a spiritual vacuum. Jumping feet first into the spiritual unknown I decided to explore Wicca. I began to study anything I could find on the religion and the practice of witchcraft. Surfing the internet, I started joining pagan message boards to ask questions. Making friends with those who could answer my questions.

Soon I committed myself to witchcraft. Embracing it as a new spiritual path. Not only did this affect me, but my family. Initially I hid my practices from my husband…who was going through his own emotional and spiritual struggles…but eventually I left our marriage. I thought I'd found freedom, and that included freedom from him. At this time I also began exploring psychic development. Eventually becoming a Clairesentient Medium and ghost hunter.

Several years into my new spirituality I still questioned if what I was doing was wrong. I would waffle between trying to be a Christian, only to go back to witchcraft soon after. So I decided to bring my past faith into the current practice, I began culling from both Christianity and witchcraft….taking what I liked, and leaving the rest behind.

As odd as it sounds, I became a Christian Witch. Worshiping Father, Son, and Holy Spirit…going to church…all the while privately practicing the rituals and magick of The Craft. I believed I'd found the answer. My husband and I…after several separations…were even able to come back together.

As I look back now I realize how gracious and patient God was with me as I wrestled with my beliefs. He never stopped calling or reaching out to me. Eventually, through a rather odd circumstance, God’s truth broke through the malaise and set me free. Confessing my sin and renouncing all I had done over those long years, I recommitted my life completely to Jesus Christ. My life and faith was restored.

The journey was dark and difficult, but I'm thankful for having lived through it. Now I'm firmly set in the center of God's will. No matter where I go from here, I will serve Him. My prayer is God will use my experiences to bring Him glory. Reveal the truth of His never ending mercy, grace, and forgiveness to all. Encouraging anyone who might be on a similar journey to never stop seeking Him.

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You can read more about my testimony and some of my experiences in Escaping the Cauldron. The book also examines how growing interest and acceptance of the paranormal is affecting Christians of every age.