More Than The Wedding ~ Completing Him Challenge

We are in week three of the Completing Him Challenge. Since I still haven't figured out the whole "web cam" thing I am having to resort to good old fashioned writing. This week we are focusing on the actual wedding. Do we remember the vows we spoke to one another? What of the special day when we pledged our lives before God until "death do us part"?

When I was a little girl I dreamed of getting married. I would have pretend weddings with my Barbie and Ken dolls. Lavish affairs with all my other dolls and stuffed animals in attendance, although I confess the wedding occasionally devolved into some kind of "monster taking over the world" situation where Ken would have to come off all hero-like, especially if his good buddy GI Joe was unable to attend the ceremony. Joe belonged to my best friend and there was a tendency for him to be off on a reconnaissance mission on "the dark continent", especially when he was needed for "best man" duties, but I digress.

My point is I had an idea in my head of what my wedding ceremony should be like (sans comic book creatures) and when the time came to actually say "I do", I made sure I had the lovely wedding I'd always wanted. I had a beautiful white dress (my niece, who was four at the time, said it looked like a "magic princess" dress) and a December date so we could have a Christmas wedding with decorated trees and poinsettias adorning the sanctuary. I wanted a candle-light wedding so the ceremony was held in the evening. My bridesmaids wore emerald gowns, the flowers were red and white, and everything was absolutely beautiful; exactly as I'd always pictured it to be, except for the ice storm raging outside the building which kept more than half the guests away.

We spoke our vows in a traditional manner, although I refused to say I would "obey" my husband because I didn't yet understand the God given structure of a marriage relationship between husband and wife or what a gift it was meant to be. The minister gave a short message after we lit the unity candle and I have no idea what he said. I only remember looking into the eyes of the man pledged to be my husband in awe of the bond we shared at that moment.

  The marriage ceremony lasted less than thirty minutes. The cake and ice cream reception (no big "party" for me and yes that still sticks in my craw a bit) was maybe an hour and a half before we returned to the house to change into normal clothes, open wedding gifts, watch the wedding video, and hang with family and friends for awhile before going to a hotel for the night.

  Our wedding was beautiful and everything I ever dreamed it would be but if I'm honest it could have been just as meaningful if we'd eloped and stood with a couple of witnesses before a justice of the peace. 

You see the ceremony isn't the point. Speaking the vows out loud before family and friends is nothing more than ritual. 

A symbol of intention.

The real marriage covenant takes place in our attitudes and choices every single day as we look into the eyes of our beloved and say "yes".

Yes.

I agree to be your wife today.

I am committing my "self" to you again this day…to share whatever happens and stick it out no matter how hard or long or deep or wide the things we face might be.

The secret is not in the vows you say out loud before witnesses on "the special day" but in the unspoken covenant you make every day thereafter.

Now that is something special!

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