Talk To Da Hand!
June 2, 2010 by kristinemac
Filed under Marriage
It is no secret that marriage is not the easy, peasy "love conquers all" kind of romance movie that television and movies like to portray. Even relationships which seem solid and appear to be doing well on the surface can be experiencing conflict between spouses when no one is watching.
Truth be told, marriage is hard work and one of the trickiest parts (and is often a contributing factor to a relationships destruction) is communication.
A husband and wife who can't talk to (or hear) each other have a hard time keeping their marriage on track
. Period. Even the most communicative husband and wife can be totally in-synch one day and the next every word that comes out of their mouths is just…wrong. Communication is virtually at a stand still and both can become caught up in a storm of misunderstanding.
However, the reality of a Christian marriage (obviously barring physical, emotional, or sexual abuse) is that we are meant to stick this thing out together "till death do us part". Scripture is clear that Christian husband's and wives are expected to base their relationship in covenant each other and God.
God is meant to be the foundation upon which Christian marriages are built and He has a specific design as to how that is meant to play out. We all know the verses detailing how husband's should be loving their wives as Christ loves the church (in other words being willing to lay down his very life for her) and wives are meant to respect and love their husbands. Divorce is given as a concession for those whose trust has been betrayed through adultery, but even then it's not the ideal solution for a struggling marriage.
When a man and woman speak vows aloud and unite in marriage they really need to understand exactly what it is they are agreeing to before the ceremony rather than simply picking out "fancy words". Perhaps it's time for pre-marriage counselors and pastors to take a hard look at these words themselves and prepare couples for the permanence of the covenant they are creating between themselves and God.
When those "talk to da hand" days come around…and they definitely will…husbands and wives need to be better equipped to deal with the every day annoyances which crop up when living with another human being…and be able to get through to another (hopefully) more amiable day.
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I have learned throughout our marriage that communication with my husband is so much sweeter when I first lay my grievances and annoyances at the foot of Jesus before I lay them on my hubby's shoulders.
What a great picture to go with your article. My husband actually witnessed a woman doing this to her husband in public who was trying to have a rational conversation with her! He said that he was thankful I had never done that. to him, it was one of the mos disrespectful things he had ever seen! (Glad to to know he feels that way!)
True! I really liked the pic too…lol. I thought it represented the topic brilliantly
I love the "biblical solution" part, so very true! I think pre-marital counseling has become a formality and couples are not properly prepared. Our counseling was short and not in depth at all, basically a night or two of chatting with the pastor. If that time would have been used to impart some true knowledge it may have strengthened us.
My recent post Preparing Our Hearts For Submission
I absolutely agree. My husband and I had about six weeks of pre-marriage counseling but it was very superficial. A deeper understanding of what it means to be married is needed.
Kristine, I love the picture and title. It's brilliant. We all need the reminder, and I'm very visual – so having a mental picture of that cat with the hand, reading your post today, and the guidance of the Holy Spirit – will enable me to move through those moments with a little chuckle.
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I got the pic from icanhascheeseburger.com. The pics on that site are all like this and honestly make me laugh out loud