Old Scars Still Twinge Every Now And Again

This past weekend my husband and I were volunteering at Rock the Coast, a one day Christian music festival at Michigan's Adventure Park. In theory we were there to help watch a booth for Youth Advocate Resources.  Of course, what really ended up happening was I stayed at the booth while my husband wandered about the park, networking with other Christian organizations and catching up with old music industry friends.

Basically, my husband is one of those really annoying people who literally knows people EVERY WHERE WE GO!

Seriously.

It used to really be annoying.

Back in the day, when our children were young and I was a bit more needy and insecure, I would become rather annoyed (translate that to hurt, angry, etc, etc.) with being "deserted" for hours at a time. However, over the years I've gotten to a place where I expect my husband to go off on his own.

This is simply who he is.

So now I will go and do my own thing when we attend music festivals or events of this nature, knowing that eventually the two of us will hook up for lunch or dinner and share info about our singular adventures.

This weekend proved to be pretty much the same. Thom spent a few minutes in the booth and then he'd be off to visit someone down the way. I did my own thing, chatted with people who wandered into the booth, and all was well…until my husband came wandering back at the end of the afternoon announcing he'd taken off for awhile with a friend from out of state to see Lake Michigan.

Suddenly it hit me like a ton of bricks. I'd been deserted. Left to "man the booth" while he went galavanting off for two hours.

In my husband's defense he did try to call my cell phone…I just didn't have it with me. However, this did nothing to stem the tide of old, hurt emotions. I managed to play it off as the "affronted wife" with a tone of joking but my husband knew I was angry…and I was.

Deeply.

Yet God, in His infinite love and grace, reminded me as I was internally "ranting" of something particularly important.

THIS IS THE MAN I CHOSE TO MARRY!

I'd not truly been deserted. My husband is a spontaneous kind of guy who in the past wouldn't have even bothered to leave me a phone message but that is no longer the case. He has grown much more considerate over the years of our marriage and always checks in with me or at least leaves a message when his spontaneous nature has taken him off again.

The truth of the matter is I know this is who I married. This is why the man literally has friends all over the United States. He's a networker. His gift is being able to connect with people, bring people together to work for a common goal, and has a lot of fun doing it. I KNEW this going into the relationship and God reminded me that I had a choice to make.

Stay mad with "self-righteous" indignation…or celebrate with my husband his opportunity to re-connect with an old friend.

I chose the latter.

Some times in marriage (or any relationship) we have to recognize that we must be willing to let go of past wounds. Even if old scars pull a little when reminded of an old injury…it's just that…something former. We can even choose to stretch a little so that in time those past wounds become nothing more than a twinge every now and again, and eventually, no bother at all. The point is we do have the choice of how we will respond.

Perhaps the next time my husband and I have an all day event to attend I should bring along a "buddy" or try to get to know the people around me? Who knows…maybe I'll have an interesting adventure to share with my husband once we meet up again at the end of the day.

So what about you? How have you learned how to "stretch" when old scars twinge?

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