Stay Put

I know there are some situations where a spouse is being abused which warrants dissolution of a marriage and I'm not addressing those circumstances. However, in a society where over 50% of marriages (37% within the first ten years) end in separation and divorce, cases of physical/emotional danger from abuse are not the primary reason people seek divorce. 

Most of the time people are seeking their own self interests when they divorce. They aren't happy and are unwilling to do the hard work necessary to make a marriage work. Many end up going from one relationship to another seeking some sort of "ideal marriage" and never finding it. 

Divorce is actually a symptom to a bigger problem which resides within individuals rather than within marriage.

Lack of commitment 

Infidelity (emotional and/or physical)

Boredom

Unrealistic expectations of a spouse

Most of these issues can be addressed and resolved if both husband and wife are willing to put their own interests aside and work toward understanding each other's needs. It's certainly not an easy thing to do and honestly is not a one time "fix" but rather a continuing process throughout a marriage relationship.

I also believe that within Christian marriages (where instances of infidelity and divorce can actually be higher than the norm) a general lack of understanding what it means to be in a "covenant" with husband or wife leads to an unwillingness to put self interests aside and work toward unity. 

Speaking from experience (my husband and I have been married for twenty-one years but nearly divorced twice) separation and divorce creates havoc in the family unit. Children can be put in the middle between arguing parents or feel they are in some way responsible for the dissolution of the relationship. Children effected by divorce are more likely to have behavioral problems at home and school, negative self-concept, and difficulty with peers. The relationship between the parent who leaves and the child can also suffer.

The good news is that marriages can be saved when both husband and wife are willing to do what it takes to make their relationship work. I certainly don't want to sugar coat anything because it is not easy to work through problems in a relationship and it can be very hard to walk through hard or hurtful times with a husband or wife. However, it is possible to weather the storms and come through with a marriage that is stronger and better for having gone through the difficulty.

So when it comes to marriage…STAY PUT! 

Be willing to do the hard work, seek help from a Christian counselor as individuals and a couple, and put aside selfish desires of "escape" for the good of your relationship and family. Stay away from dangerous emotional relationships with people not your husband or wife. Be transparent with your spouse and talk to each other. Deal with minor issues before they become major problems. Learn the meaning of covenant and stick to it. Put God first in your own life and don't make your spouse responsible for your personal "happiness" but realize we are each responsible for our own satisfaction in life. 

Marriages can be good. Difficult (or nearly dead) marriages can be saved if we are willing to trust God and do what is right.

So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts. And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ
Ephesians 5:15-20 (NLT)